Slowing Down to Feel
Last night after finishing this stitch sampler, I held onto the little bundle of leftover fabric and threads and felt inspired to write this poem, the words flowing through me with ease. I am so grateful as it captures the little journey I have taken in creating this piece which is part of the online course I am taking with a soulful artist Fleur Woods from New Zealand.
Slowing down to feel into the fibres
To allow the water to seep into the weaves that capture the paint puddles
A softness at sight, a bit too rough, not quite right
Another wash, spin and dry
Now to make it tight
Slowing down to feel into the colours
Will I go bright, no that doesn’t feel quite right
Pink, always pink, a favourite
Pastel, deep fusia, pale almost white is what feels right
Slowing down to feel into the sitches
Watching again, even though they have been done before, it takes a moment to find my rhythm
I take my time
There is no rush
I give myself permission to feel what’s right
Pushing myself out of the edges
No drawing this time
Let my threads tell their story
One stitch at a time
This feels right
Circles, straight lines, flowers, and little French knots
Some easier than others
Bringing me home
Closer to my heart
Closer to the light
Now it’s time to try something new
Slowing down
There is no rush
Only excitement as the sweet seed beads hit the porcelain of a dish that’s been hidden away waiting for this moment to play
To be free
I am free
But my eyes don’t play nice
I squint and sigh as I try
To thread my needle
The eye is so small
The tread, a silk is so fine
The needle flexes between my fingers
Not feeling quite right
Slow down my love
There is no hurry
Take your time
It will happen
Open your mind
To the possibilities
To the sparkles
To the fine threads that hold your precious beads of pink, pearl and blue
To create the sweetest little flowers, you have ever seen
It’s going to be alright
Slow down
Savour each stitch
Each moment, as a shape comes to life
Each precious moment
To create what feels right
Let go my love
There’s no need to hold on so tight
You have allowed the threads, fibres and stitches to guide you towards the light
My first Artist Date
Today I went on my first Artist Date and it wasn’t what I had planned or ever imagined but it was beautiful and powerful.
Last Sunday I began journeying with two books;
The first is Good Morning, I Love You, a guided gratitude journal with prompts to write first thing in the morning and before you go to sleep at night. The second is The Artist’s Way. Both have gifted me many blessings this past week and today I would love to share one of those with you.
If you are not familiar with The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron, it’s a 12-week course delivered in a book designed to help you discover and recover your creative self. There are two main tools that you are asked to do every day and every week respectively for 12 weeks.
We are encouraged to write three pages streaming from our consciousness each morning upon waking. I have been writing in an A4 binder and that’s actually a lot of words, sometimes these pages flow easily and other mornings it’s a struggle. These words don’t have to have any meaning, in fact, that’s the whole idea. This tool has been designed to unlock our ‘writer’s block’ as such and simply allow us to get used to writing. It’s important to go straight into writing upon waking and not after we have scrolled through our phones, checked our emails, or made the kid’s lunches. I do make myself a cup of tea first and enjoy that while writing and entering the day. And I have gotten into the habit of writing in my gratitude journal first and this works for me.
This week I have worked through a trigger that had me a tad rattled, this included lists and a big shift in perspective. I wrote about something I had listened to, I wrote about things that were happening in my week, and lots of things I can’t even remember. Julia doesn’t want us to care about what we write, in fact, she doesn’t want us to read what we write at this stage, and other than referencing some of my pages I think on Monday morning when I wrote what became a blog post I haven’t looked back.
It’s important to note this process is not only for people who want to write, it can be for any artist or anyone wanting to unblock and unlock their creativity. As Julia writes;
“In order to retrieve your creativity, you need to find it.”
The second tool is to take yourself on a solo date each week which invites you to seek inspiration, insight, and guidance. I must say I had a lot of resistance to this one from the get-go. Instantly when I first read about it I went into, I don’t have time for this. Oh great another thing I have to fit into my schedule. I made it into something way bigger than it had to be, trips to the museum, art galleries, and botanical gardens. I even began telling myself I’ll skip this bit and just stick with the morning pages … interesting in itself!
Julia talks about our imposter fighting against these tools, and she introduces us to and refers to our ego as our ‘censor’ who will do everything in its power to keep us safe, just like it’s always been. Thankfully I’m no stranger to this inner voice and am aware of when it begins to wreak havoc, most of the time anyway.
So I was driving home this morning at 8.30 after dropping my daughter off to work and I was having a lovely conversation with myself on why I shouldn’t worry about taking myself on an artist date this week. I got up early, had done my journal & morning pages, did a load of washing, and was working out a plan for the rest of my day, there really wasn’t enough time.
Then out of the corner of my eye, I saw our local farmer’s markets were on. They are walking distance from our place and I haven’t been there for years. Perfect this is what I can do, I can even walk the dog at the same time. But the excuses started coming thick and fast. It will be a pain to take Ziggy as she will pull and want to walk, there will be other dogs that will distract her and I won’t be able to visit the craft section inside if I have her. You get the idea and I’m sure you’re having plenty of conversations like this all the time.
I got home and decided to take Ziggy for her own walk. We had a lovely time and I indulged in one of my favorite pastimes, taking photos of nature along the way. Here’s today’s bounty.
This does fill my well, which is what an artist date is meant to do, but it’s not taking me out of my comfort zone and giving me the opportunity to potentially receive so much more. This is playing it safe and limiting what is possible. Everything that I’m wanting to move through and beyond.
Dropping Ziggy off at home, I picked up my backpack and took off back up the street toward the Farmer’s Market. Along the way, I walked past a Uniting Church. It’s not a particularly stunning building, but I did notice it and didn’t think much else at the time. Further up the road, I spotted some flowering tree dahlia which I love and this made my heart sing.
I got to the farmers market and walked through completely underwhelmed in about 15mins. There was no craft section as that’s a different market on a different week and the fresh produce just wasn’t doing it for me. Walking away I didn’t feel too much other than a sense that this wasn’t it, there was more to come, but at this stage, I didn’t know what that was. I kept walking.
As I walked past my flowering dahlia smiling and inching closer to the Uniting Church I could hear the music, so I followed the sound and turned the corner. As I got closer there was a sign that said, the entrance was off Whitehorse Road, back around the corner, just where I had come from, so at this moment I had a choice. I could keep walking towards home or I could turn around and walk inside the church. The Service started at 9.45 and this was around 10.15 am. I opened the door and it slammed behind me and I was greeted by an elderly man. I apologized for the noise and told him I just wanted to pop my head in and take a look if that was okay. He said there wasn’t much room as they were still seating people keeping the distance rule in place, but he picked up a chair and offered me a place just inside the door directly opposite the pulpit. The sermon had just begun.
I have never stepped inside a Uniting Church and had no idea who was talking to me. He looked just like a priest from the Catholic Churches I was used to, but he had a lovely warm, and welcoming energy. Older but still energised, a little jaded but still hopeful. The congregation was full of people most likely 70 plus and I definitely felt the youngest at 50. There were no young families or even couples in my age range. This is probably indicative of many churches on any given Sunday morning nowadays. It had certainly been years since I’d attended one.
But I listened, I listened to his words as I have never listened to a sermon/homily before. It was just like in a movie, he was talking directly to me, well maybe not, but at times it felt like it.
He began talking about the city versus the country and how the churches of the past were such a prominent part of a city or town, not only in stature but in riches and respect. Once the pews were overflowing and the Sunday school was humming. But times have changed, not just because of the pandemic but these changes have been occurring for decades. Society no longer seeks safety inside the grand cathedral walls it’s seeking a new way, a new pathway toward finding faith.
He told stories of nomads who created their own churches on mountaintops. Altars were created in the simplest of forms. Today we can learn from these nomads who found their connection to God, source, higher being, or whoever resonates with you because it’s not within the walls of a church or in the safety of a congregation that faith is found, it can be found anywhere and now more than ever we need to be open to change.
What can we learn from the nomads, he asked? How can we embrace the change?
He said it’s about giving permission. Permission to ourselves and to others that we can do things differently.
It’s about letting go of the old and inviting in the new. Keeping what resonates and letting go of what no longer serves us.
Don’t focus on all the negatives and the shame that at times can shroud us, the church, and the religion but welcome in the new.
We have created a legacy and it might not be in the form we imagined or envisaged but it’s still there to be shared with whomever is willing to receive it.
And just like that he finished, the music started and I left. I had come to receive what I needed and left the rest I didn’t need behind.
This is the gift of empowerment, the gift of following the signs, and the posts, and trusting in the process.
I surrendered to knowing that something more was just around the corner, I just had to be willing and brave to see what it was.
And for that, I am eternally grateful.
I am grateful that I pushed through the resistance and allowed myself to explore, play and follow along.
On a side note while I was listening to the sermon my Mum sent me a message via Instagram. This is what she sent me and again I receive it as a sign that I am on the right path. I have no idea what’s at the end, but I’m so excited to be taking baby steps of discovery each and every day.
Much love, Sarah xxx
Daily Devotions
A few months ago, Phillip bought us each a book called ‘Good Morning, I love you’ which is a guided gratitude journal. We started another journal last year called The Five Minute Journal but didn’t last the distance. Yesterday we began our new practice in our new journal and this morning I started again on my own and it got me thinking.
Over the course of my lifetime, I have started so many things, and my typical pattern of behaviour is that I just don’t finish them. But it just dawned on me now as I write these words, this is the story I have been telling myself over and over again.
What if I was to change my perspective on this story as I let go of these words that I have no doubt limited me from stepping into my fullest potential over and over?
What if I begin saying something different to myself?
And this is what came through in my journal;
Yes, Sarah you’ve had the intention of creating a daily devotion or morning routine for many years now and you are been testing out many different things like gratitude practices, meditation, prayer, and journaling to see what works best for you. There’s no ‘right’ way and there will be seasons in your life where you have more time and space to spend on your devotion and others when you don’t and these will be the times when you show yourself kindness and compassion and simply start where you are at.
Now this story feels so much better. It feels expansive and full of potential.
But it’s interesting because as I was writing this there was still a voice in my head saying “Yes, Sarah that sounds great, but you still have evidence to suggest that my story is better.”
This is where the ego is very sneaky and quite frankly so powerful.
Ultimately I still have free will to override my ego with the intention of creating a new belief, a new thought pattern, and a new story.
It reminds me of the Cycle of Change that I learned from my friend and mentor, Kathy.
It’s really very simple, but not always the easiest to execute.
We set the intention of creating a new belief.
For example:
It’s my intention to spend a little or a lot of time on my daily devotion depending on my schedule so that I can create a foundation that will support my daily habit.
Each day I will have choices. Will I get up early enough to spend on my daily devotion? How much time? Am I going into the office or working from home today? Will I do a guided meditation in the morning, at lunchtime or before going to sleep, or even both? Have I written in my guided gratitude journal today?
So depending on the choices I make at any given time will create evidence or experiences that support the pattern of behaviour or new belief I have the desire to create and change. And so the cycle continues each and every day either creating your new behaviour and belief or not.
This is the power of intention and reflection, the gift of awareness that will shift your perspective and your way of being.
I’m not saying it’s always easy, I would suggest it’s more about being persistent and consistent always pivoting and starting again and again. Over time there will be a compound effect of change. That’s the gift of desiring to become a better version of yourself each and every day.
Much love, Sarah xxx
Sharing my Voice
For many months now I have been thinking about bringing this Blog to life. Since going back to Corporate and working full-time last August I have missed sharing my voice.
This then got me pondering as to the voice I actually have and it dawned on me that my voice is always evolving and through the practice of writing I have the opportunity to let it speak however it chooses to at any given moment.
We know that life is a rich tapestry of our life experiences and now that I have five decades of wisdom to tap into, I long to share, explore and reflect on who I have been, who I am right now, and who I am becoming. And I have come to realise that sharing these words publicly with the world has its own kind of power.
I have been journaling on and off for many years now but I tend to turn to these pages when I seek guidance and even to simply vent. It’s a different kind of writing for me, a stream of consciousness very different from the words that come out of me when I type into a computer, whether that be a social media post or a blog post like this. This is why I decided to bring my website back to life as a Blog. I can choose to write the words that are often swirling around in my mind and heart, share what I have been learning and document it along the way.
It’s an outlet for my creativity to bloom, a form of self-expression and self-inquiry.
The wonderful thing is now, it doesn’t have to lead to anything. I’m not selling any services, I’m not trying to promote anything, I’m simply sharing my voice when I feel intuitively called to with no attachment to any outcome other than hitting publish.
This feels liberating and exciting.
I look forward to sharing this journey with you.
Much love, Sarah xxx