At the end of October I decided to set a challenge for myself, the Creative Content Challenge. I spent some time brainstorming a list of 30 content topics I could talk to for each day for the month of November. One of the key content ideas was to do a Facebook Live on my business page every Friday around 11am.
I ripped off the Band-Aid last week and jumped on live even though I was feeling very nervous and spoke about video content in social media. I had done some research on the topic and referenced a blog post by Mari Smith, that was my inspiration. You can watch the video here if you are interested. I got through the 10mins or so and was so relieved that it was done. I wasn’t particularly thrilled with the result but proud of myself for pushing out of my comfort zone and sticking to my challenge.
Then yesterday, Day 10 of my challenge was upon me. I knew I had to do a Facebook Live but wasn’t so sure of what I would talk about. I had some ideas, but nothing concrete. You see this week has been a big turning point in my ever evolving business. I have made some decisions that will change the trajectory for my business and life. These decisions have not come lightly. So with all of this happening, I was struggling to come up with a clear topic to talk to.
I had every intention of following through on my promise to myself of completing this 30 day challenge, I even put on some make-up and blow dried my hair for the occasion!
But I simply couldn’t do it.
I procrastinated until it was too late and the time had passed.
Why did I do this to myself again?
I am starting to get upset just typing these words so obviously it has triggered something within me.
I don’t know what the answer is just yet, but I do recognise some of the patterns that have resurfaced.
Change is scary.
When you are about to take the leap and up level your life it can often bring up the yucky stuff you need to work on before you can make the jump. I realised yesterday when I was working on my new business plan I was only focusing on the good stuff, the positive stuff and the pretty stuff. It hit me right in the chest. I was completely avoiding the shadows, the limiting beliefs, the stuckness, yet these are the very things that are holding me back.
You see the reason I didn’t do my Facebook Live yesterday was because I was scared. I was scared I didn’t have anything worth talking about, I was scared that I couldn’t compare to all the other Facebook Lives I watch and I was scared that I would freeze and look stupid.
I came up with a hundred reasons why it was ok to not do the video.
- You are in the throes of changing your business and brand, wait until that is done and then you can do your video
- You are so busy today getting the kids ready after camp and for the weekend.
- No one really watches it anyway.
- Your reach on Facebook is so low, why bother.
- You haven’t done enough preparation.
- My backdrop is not good enough.
- Oh well you missed 11am when you were going to do it, the time has passed.
- Just focus on the work you are doing, don’t worry about the Facebook Live.
- You are only accountable to yourself, no one will care.
- You can sit here a little longer watching the puppy.
- You have to pick up your daughter from school soon.
- You need your hair dyed there are too many grey hairs.
- You need to clean up the mess in your office.
And on and on they continued, one excuse after another.
But I really know that the reasons are much deeper.
They are about addressing my issues around;
You see we can’t move forward to be the person we want to be if we don’t go head to head with what is stopping us. I don’t know the answers on how to do this, but I do know that awareness is the first step.
I will spend some time this weekend reflecting and journaling around these topics to see what comes up in the hope that I can clear some of the negativity and stuckness. I may write a letter to the universe and burn it in the hope that I will release what is no longer serving me. I will listen to some music that uplifts me. I will watch my boys play Basketball. I will take my puppy for a walk down the track to be in nature and I will sit in the sun with a cup of tea.
But most of all I will forgive myself for not getting on yesterday and doing my Facebook Live.
Today is a new day full of hope and possibility. I will not dwell. I will look forward and trust that what will unfold is just as it is meant to be.