At the end of May 2016 I launched Your Relationship Marketing Mentor and this is the first Blog Post I have written since launching my business. I will also be sending out my first Newsletter very soon too! Many times I have beaten myself over this fact, but as I write this blog post I am OK with it. A dear friend of mine says this quite a bit and I have adopted the saying too –
I T I S W H A T I T I S
Too often we get caught up in the cycle of wanting certain aspects of life and business to be perfect, then procrastination kicks in and the end result is nothing gets done. I have suffered from this to a degree, but I also have been focused on other aspects of my life and business. So to kick off my first blog, I thought I would share with you my top 10 lessons I have learnt over the past four months since launching Your Relationship Marketing Mentor.
(1) Let go of Expectation of others and myself –
Since joining a Network Marketing company I have learnt that you have to let go of any expectation. There is a saying that many refer too. “Some Will, Some Won’t, So What” and I have had to apply this to myself. Sometimes I will achieve a goal that I set myself, other times I won’t and does it really matter anyway. I am trying the best I can. This is fine if I am trying my best and am taking the right types of actions. When I reflect over the past four months, I am happy to say this this is the case most of the time, but there are some aspects of my business that definitely need work on. I am fully of aware of this and looking at ways I can improve, so I figure this is a great start.
(2) Balance or Lack of –
I recently had a chat with my coach Larissa Halls and she kindly pointed out to me that when we focus on one area of our life, others will fall away a bit. I hadn’t really thought about this too much, but I did know that I was not achieving any kind of balance in my life. I break up my life into three main areas, with each of these areas having some sub categories of course. But, basically for my life there is Personal, Family and Business. For example, I noticed that if I am spending a lot of my time and energy on my business, my health suffers because I will often eat badly because I feel under pressure or I will not spend as much quality time with the kids as I would like too. Or recently I found I was spending more time focusing on my health, watching what I was eating, moving more physically and being more present with my kids. This was great, but my business was suffering as I wasn’t getting through the tasks I require to build my business. Now that I have had a re-frame of thoughts, I can consciously look at where I am spending most of my time and reflect on the positive outcomes, then tweak how I can potentially balance my focus a little more to keep all three aspects of my life in check. This is definitely a work in progress for me!
(3) It’s OK to take a Break –
Last week I had to attend a Business Retreat with the Coaching Circle I am part of. The Retreat was from Wednesday through to Friday. I am a solo parent to three gorgeous kids, but as I am the primary carer I was pretty worn out. My ex-husband is also in between jobs so it was the perfect opportunity for me to extend my trip to Sydney by a few days. I was able to reconnect with some of my family who all live in NSW and spend Fathers Day with my Dad for the first time in decades. In fact I spent most of the week with him. I have not had this much quality time with him without my kids in a very long time and it was amazing. I was lucky enough to have the same type of trip with my Mum in the last school holidays where we went to Adelaide together. What I realised is, that I desire more connection with my family and want to create more mini-breaks where I can make this happen. I also loved being near the ocean, it did help that the weather was spectacular. I could smell Jasmine in the air, just like I remember as a kid. It doesn’t happen here in Melbourne and it makes me so happy. When it was time to work on my business at the Retreat I felt so relaxed and rested, I was able to get such clarity that I hadn’t felt for weeks leading up to the break.
(4) Comparisonitis –
We all suffer from this in our lives and business. I don’t get too hung up on it and when I find myself rapidly falling down this rabbit hole I stop and think to myself, life for this person or business looks very different from mine. We cannot compare ourselves to what is often a highlight reel beautifully depicted on social media. I may post beautiful photos of the beach I am walking on while most of my friends are dropping their kids off to school feeling exhausted and frustrated, but if you saw me the week before I was feeling the same thing times 10. I do this gig by myself with a break every second weekend. I don’t have any family in the state I live in and so when the opportunity comes up for me to take a break, I jump in big time. So when I see that someoness business is growing much faster than mine, I celebrate their success and try and draw inspiration where I can. I know my journey will be much slower because of my circumstances, but it is my journey, which is the best bit.
(5) Systems –
OK, this is a big lesson for me and something that I am working on. I can create some incredible systems, charts, graphs and spreadsheets making them all look beautiful and on brand, BUT, this is where it pretty much ends. I am not using the systems I am creating. Do you ever look at those organising blogs where they have labels and charts that look so pretty and think to yourself I want my life or business to look like this? You will often find me doing this on a Friday night…thinking about the week that had just past where I didn’t achieve as much as I had hoped. You may be noticing a common thread through most of my lessons in this blog post. It is all about awareness, reflection and then action. So when it comes to systems I am working on one at a time until I nail it and then will move to next one. I will keep you posted.
(6) Unloved Tasks –
This could fall under my systems lesson, but it is a little different in that I have one aspect of my business that I really don’t like doing for various reasons. That is Follow-Up. It is quite ironic considering my business is powered by one of the best follow-up tools in the world. I thought I had a block around this task, but during a discussion with my coach, she called them my UNLOVED TASKS and this really struck a chord with me. I would much rather spend time creating and connecting than sending emails or making phone calls. We looked at the benefits that will happen when I do follow-up and talked about how people are mostly grateful when we follow-up. I am offering a service that is going to make them more money, save time and feel good about themselves. We also did a visualisation where I tapped into my WHY or part of it anyway and she suggested that when I am about to work on my follow-up, I spend a few minutes re-engaging with myself to bring up those feelings again, knowing that by completing my unloved tasks I will moving closer to my vision and purpose.
(7) Momentum –
During my four months I had a period where I had massive momentum in my business. It was such an amazing time, but in the end I did burn out. I realised that I need to have shortened concentrated bursts of activity followed by a slower time of consolidation. I work and plan my business around the school terms as I take time over the school holidays to be with my kids. Last term I went too hard, too early and lost my puff around week 6. There were a few reasons for this, it was winter, which this year felt like it would never end, I attended too many networking events and I became confused about the direction I was taking.
(8) Challenges –
Over the past four months I have set myself a couple of Challenges. The first one was a 7 Day Facebook Live Challenge. I was beside myself with nerves when I did my first live video on my business page and absolutely loved them after that. I spent most of the day thinking about what I was going to talk about and then pop on some lippy and waited for the little eye come up to see if anyone was actually watching. I would have adrenaline pumping through me and consequently felt great afterwards. Even on those days where I didn’t really feel like doing it, I pushed myself and followed through. The lesson that I have learnt, is that I haven’t done a Facebook Live since this 7 Day Challenge. I began beating myself up over this and then someone kindly pointed out to me – you set yourself a 7 day challenge, completed it and now it is done ✔ tick! So instead of setting myself challenges, I am going to re-frame them into new habits, focusing on one at a time that will bring me the best return for my effort.
(9) Support Networks –
Having a number of different support networks has been integral for my success. Doing this gig on your own is no fun and at most times too hard. We need to have cheerleaders, people we can bounce ideas off and many times someone who will gently tell us where we need to improve. This is an area that I have covered and one of the reasons having my own busines. I have three main business support networks that help me on a daily basis.
+ Motivating Mum Network – I co-run a club in Doncaster with a dear friend Sabina. We meet once a month and have 12 members in our club. This club is industry exclusive and I often refer it to my Mother’s Group in Business. Every month we give two members the opportunity to brainstorm an aspect of their business. We all then offer up our suggestions and ideas. What I love about these brainstorms is that we often facing the same challenges and can apply these ideas to our own businesses. We also have an active Facebook Group which offers another level of support.
+ Savvy Circles Network® – I run the Doncaster Connect Circle. This network is exclusive for people in Network Marketing. We meet monthly and this meeting is not exclusive to industry or company. The emphasis is very much on connection, conversation, collaboration and community. It is the perfect safe space for us to learn from others further along in their businesses and offer support to each other.
+ Your Next Chapter Success Circle – This is a eight month Mastermind run by Angela Raspass. We catch up fortnightly via Zoom for a two hour call, meet twice for business retreats and have a very supportive Facebook Group. The second Retreat was the reason I had my trip up north last week. We set goals for the remaining of 2016 and broke them down into strategies and tactics. Angela has an amazing Marketing mind which is the main reason I decided to join the circle. The unexpected outcomes have been the friendships I have made with the other members, the wisdom gained and wonderful support.
I also have worked with a Spiritual Business Mentor – Lynne Rivero and more recently Life Coach – Larissa Halls. Both have had significant impacts on many aspects of my life, including my business. Other ways you can tap into support networks is through Facebook Groups, Meet-ups and attending events.
(10) Where to Now –
Wow…this post was a bit bigger than intended. Thank you if you made it here! I am still very much a work in progress, but now I am being kinder to myself. I am focusing on becoming more conscious of where I spend my time and energy and asking myself more questions along the way. For example if I find myself being distracted by Facebook I ask myself – Is scrolling aimlessly through my Facebook Feed helping me achieve my ultimate goal? Of course not….hopefully this will be enough to make me stop and re-focus. I know it is not this easy, but baby steps are better than none at all.
T H I S I S M E
What Lessons are you constantly learning in your Business?
Can you offer any wisdom from your lessons?
Where are you Now?
If you are hanging out on Facebook, hopefully not being too distracted, I would love to Connect.